Confidence is sexy.
It’s no secret. Nobody is wandering about claiming that they prefer a mate who is timid and unsure. Male or female, it doesn’t matter. The key to being desirable is acting, dressing, believing you’re desirable. Ask anyone! Go on, I’ll wait … See? With that in mind, why does it seem that everyone’s go-to move when meeting a potential dating partner is to be self deprecating?
Leading with the Bad is Always Bad
I get it. There are reasons to do it, but even they are bad. Sure, nobody wants to sound like a braggart or a jerk, and yes, confidence can sometimes come off as braggadocio. I’m certainly not going to argue that it’s a good idea to approach a date as an opportunity to list your accomplishments. What is this, a job interview?
Well, now that you mention it … yeah, kinda. So like a job interview, you don’t want to bog the other person down with a laundry list of all the little things about you that make you awesome. It might be better to drop one or two of the biggies into the conversation and see how things progress.
Another reason is that some people are just so caught up in the belief that there is something wrong with them, they can’t believe the other person doesn’t already see it. At that point, acknowledging its presence seems like the only polite thing to do. Then it can be cataloged and put aside so the conversation can go in other directions. But, listen up people because this is important, it’s not true. Unless you trot it out on display, it’s not readily apparent!
Projecting Confidence Will Always Yield the Best Result
Notice I didn’t say the desired result. I said the best result. If you are rejected because you have self-esteem, it’s better to avoid that person anyway. If you are embraced for it, that was the point! I’m not advocating that you need to hide your flaws from your potential mate. In fact, I think that kind of behavior is why divorce is so Read the rest of this entry »